travels around china

from beijing:
1. around beijing
2. xi'an
3. inner mongolia
4. hong kong + macau
5. tibet

nine weekends in shanghai:
1. explore shanghai
2. zhenjiang + yangzhou (2 days)
3. singapore??
4. suzhou + hangzhou (2 days)
5. nanjing (must look into it)
6. huang shan (look into it)
7. explore shanghai
8. settle down
9. pack to leave

finally...he's there at my lowest point. ((:

aaron*c says: (2:00:38 AM)
i actually am quite numb
aaron*c says: (2:00:43 AM)
4th rejection see
aaron*c says: (2:00:45 AM)
4th
aaron*c says: (2:00:57 AM)
what a failure.
aaron*c says: (2:01:16 AM)
2004, 2005, 2006, 2008.
aaron*c says: (2:02:17 AM)
numb on one hand, denial on another. maybe a little disbelief.
elisha | color says: (2:02:54 AM)
sighs...
elisha | color says: (2:03:09 AM)
ohwells, i really still believe and know that u are a great great person
elisha | color says: (2:03:10 AM)
friend
elisha | color says: (2:03:17 AM)
and man :)
aaron*c says: (2:04:47 AM)
really?
aaron*c says: (2:04:57 AM)
because i feel quite rotten right now
elisha | color says: (2:07:49 AM)
really la. all these things doesnt change e fact of a character or a person :)
elisha | color says: (2:07:59 AM)
aaron is still aaron. with or w/o he's still great
elisha | color says: (2:08:01 AM)
i believe
elisha | color says: (2:08:07 AM)
and i'm sure lots of ppl do too
elisha | color says: (2:08:08 AM)
:)
elisha | color says: (2:08:12 AM)
we're all behind u
aaron*c says: (2:08:30 AM)
that is not true.
aaron*c says: (2:08:54 AM)
when it comes down to it, i dont have that many people around.
aaron*c says: (2:09:10 AM)
in the church, well, probably just u. and maybe seb.
aaron*c says: (2:10:22 AM)
yujie...my life is so tragic. it tells a tragic story.
elisha | color says: (2:11:06 AM)
well i believe w400 are behind u too.
elisha | color says: (2:11:08 AM)
yes u are.
elisha | color says: (2:11:15 AM)
c'mon
elisha | color says: (2:11:25 AM)
we all looking up to u now man!
aaron*c says: (2:11:43 AM)
what am i going to do?
aaron*c says: (2:11:49 AM)
what am i going to do?
aaron*c says: (2:11:55 AM)
i really dont know.
aaron*c says: (2:12:01 AM)
i was so bent on leaving.
aaron*c says: (2:12:06 AM)
that i didnt study
aaron*c says: (2:12:15 AM)
and my results are going to be crap.
aaron*c says: (2:12:20 AM)
and maybe i cannot leave.
aaron*c says: (2:12:24 AM)
what am i going to do?
aaron*c says: (2:12:29 AM)
like seriously.
elisha | color says: (2:14:29 AM)
hmm
elisha | color says: (2:14:33 AM)
wad are ur other options?
elisha | color says: (2:14:38 AM)
as in overseas apps
aaron*c says: (2:14:40 AM)
killing myself
elisha | color says: (2:19:05 AM)
oooiiiee
aaron*c says: (2:21:24 AM)
do u know i thought of that?
aaron*c says: (2:21:53 AM)
and the only thing keeping me going was well, me looking forward to going overseas.
elisha | color says: (2:22:40 AM)
haiyooooo
elisha | color says: (2:22:48 AM)
pls dun like that
aaron*c says: (2:24:14 AM)
i dunno.
aaron*c says: (2:24:23 AM)
nothing worth living for.
aaron*c says: (2:24:30 AM)
no progress in life.
aaron*c says: (2:24:41 AM)
i seem to be moving backwards
aaron*c says: (2:24:52 AM)
do u know that i wake up every day feeling like a failure.
aaron*c says: (2:24:57 AM)
i keep everything to myself
aaron*c says: (2:25:02 AM)
but i've been so miserable
aaron*c says: (2:25:06 AM)
every day
elisha | color says: (2:25:20 AM)
haiizzz...
aaron*c says: (3:19:06 AM)
yujie
elisha | color says: (3:19:15 AM)
yes
elisha | color says: (3:19:25 AM)
u got to stop saying sorry to me
elisha | color says: (3:19:27 AM)
heh
elisha | color says: (3:19:43 AM)
belief is spelt
elisha | color says: (3:19:48 AM)
A-A-R-O-N
elisha | color says: (3:20:04 AM)
i have confidence in that belief
elisha | color says: (3:20:06 AM)
:)
aaron*c says: (3:20:45 AM)
haha. i was just about to say sorry. sigh. i know u hate me to "sulk" and whine.
elisha | color says: (3:21:13 AM)
i am faster than u can type
elisha | color says: (3:21:14 AM)
heh
elisha | color says: (3:21:23 AM)
cus i'm word challenged trained now :P
elisha | color says: (3:21:25 AM)
hahahaha
elisha | color says: (3:21:30 AM)
although still lousy la.
aaron*c says: (3:22:00 AM)
i just dont know who else to turn to i guess. i was so scared u'd shout at me but i still called u in the end.
elisha | color says: (3:22:21 AM)
:)
aaron*c says: (3:22:22 AM)
thank you..
elisha | color says: (3:22:22 AM)
it's ok
elisha | color says: (3:22:30 AM)
i wanted to call u anyway. but u were online
elisha | color says: (3:22:34 AM)
so ya.
aaron*c says: (3:22:35 AM)
i owe u a lot a lot.
elisha | color says: (3:22:36 AM)
pls dun be afraid la
elisha | color says: (3:22:40 AM)
i owe u alot too
elisha | color says: (3:23:03 AM)
all these trouble past few mths especially and i really just hope that i cud be more selfless
elisha | color says: (3:23:09 AM)
and help build ur life right and up too
elisha | color says: (3:23:17 AM)
just as how u had done so for mine. :)
elisha | color says: (3:23:21 AM)
and many others too!
elisha | color says: (3:23:23 AM)
;)
elisha | color says: (3:23:25 AM)
you're great
elisha | color says: (3:23:27 AM)
say.
elisha | color says: (3:23:33 AM)
"AARON IS GREAT!"
elisha | color says: (3:23:36 AM)
say it out!
aaron*c says: (3:23:54 AM)
it isnt true.
elisha | color says: (3:24:40 AM)
u must confess it
elisha | color says: (3:24:42 AM)
idioit
elisha | color says: (3:24:49 AM)
u dun speak out, i'll scold u
elisha | color says: (3:24:51 AM)
!!
elisha | color says: (3:24:55 AM)
:@
elisha | color says: (3:25:02 AM)
angry ald.
elisha | color says: (3:25:06 AM)
1,
elisha | color says: (3:25:07 AM)
2,
elisha | color says: (3:25:09 AM)
3,
elisha | color says: (3:25:12 AM)
say............!
aaron*c says: (3:26:13 AM)
okay i did.
elisha | color says: (3:28:29 AM)
ok la
elisha | color says: (3:28:34 AM)
u better catch some rest
elisha | color says: (3:28:36 AM)
i'll help u msg
elisha | color says: (3:28:43 AM)
if u dun wake up so early
aaron*c says: (3:32:53 AM)
when i get to the end of this tunnel, i promise i will repay u big time. i will make this friendship worth it for u. i promise.
elisha | color says: (3:33:40 AM)
relax la
elisha | color says: (3:33:53 AM)
now isnt e time to talk abt repay wadsoever :)
elisha | color says: (3:34:05 AM)
most imptly, is that u will walk to the end of e tunnel
elisha | color says: (3:34:07 AM)
:)
aaron*c says: (3:35:36 AM)
u walk together with me ok? i have no other friends.
elisha | color says: (3:37:42 AM)
:)
elisha | color says: (3:37:43 AM)
suree
aaron*c says: (3:37:53 AM)
thank you.
aaron*c says: (3:38:00 AM)
u shd rest early too.
elisha | color says: (3:47:38 AM)
goodnights too

lost

i don't know why i feel so lost. so so so lost. there doesn't seem to be anyone on my side. i feel so alone. dad put me down, mum put me down, pastor put me down, yujie put me down...the one person i trust the most. i just feel very crushed inside me. i made very very bad decisions and i'm suffering the consequences of my bad decisions. not going to london...worst decision. not going to school and putting in effort this sem...bad decision. i dunno. i dont even know what went wrong between yujie and i. i dont even know what to do to put it right. i hope he doesnt hate me. he probably doesnt. but i seem to annoy him a lot. oh gosh. yujie...i never intended to annoy u. i wanted to help u, be a friend, and i was looking for a friend in return. sigh. with regards to parents, yes i know they love me. but i just feel i really let them down. and they probably are disappointed. pastor...sigh. i dunno. we used to be closer and have more open sharing. i dont know what happened.

in school, i dont even know how to face the project mates. it was sheer abandonment on my part. so irresponsible. such bad decisions made. oh gosh aaron. why did u get yourself into this? why so weak? why so lousy? pull yourself together please. pull yourself together. u can make it. u can u can u can make it through this.

thank you yujie

left me 7 missed calls this morning when i asked for wake up call. had lunch with zhanwei and i (brought his mum...hahaha). had supper with seb and i.

and then this convo at home. so touched. so moved. was i wrong about him? or has he changed? feel loved by him.

elisha | says: (2:56:36 AM)
whee!

elisha | says: (2:56:36 AM)
haooy boy

aaron*c says: (2:57:07 AM)
hello boss :)

elisha | says: (2:57:22 AM)
hello

elisha | says: (2:57:26 AM)
wanna go shower and da bian

elisha | says: (2:57:26 AM)
haha

aaron*c says: (2:57:31 AM)
hahaha

aaron*c says: (2:58:03 AM)
okay. shant disturb u. thanks for spending the night out.

elisha | says: (2:58:10 AM)
just forwarded u the email.

elisha | says: (2:58:11 AM)
yupp

aaron*c says: (2:58:46 AM)
cultural mandate leh

aaron*c says: (2:58:51 AM)
tv personalities

elisha | says: (2:59:23 AM)
yupp :)

elisha | says: (2:59:29 AM)
fantastic isn't it

elisha | says: (2:59:43 AM)
btw, what was cheryl and jermain's cg talking abt?

elisha | says: (2:59:50 AM)
social entrepreneurshio or smtg ...?

aaron*c says: (2:59:58 AM)
charity work.

elisha | says: (3:00:10 AM)
like for CG issit

aaron*c says: (3:00:14 AM)
yeap!

elisha | says: (3:00:18 AM)
like what we can do for the community kind

aaron*c says: (3:00:22 AM)
yeap!

elisha | says: (3:00:22 AM)
not bad.. good good!

elisha | says: (3:00:26 AM)
we're moving on

elisha | says: (3:00:26 AM)
:)

aaron*c says: (3:00:43 AM)
yeap! i like my zone pple.

elisha | says: (3:00:53 AM)
w400 went too early last yr la

elisha | says: (3:00:53 AM)
hahaha

aaron*c says: (3:01:04 AM)
to be honest

aaron*c says: (3:01:10 AM)
i'm happy to be back in w400

aaron*c says: (3:01:19 AM)
dont think i wanna leave anymore.

aaron*c says: (3:01:24 AM)
just run for your vision

aaron*c says: (3:01:31 AM)
:)

elisha | says: (3:01:37 AM)
but then again, now social entrepreneurship is like saturated ald

elisha | says: (3:01:39 AM)
oww man

elisha | says: (3:01:42 AM)
pls dun say that la.

elisha | says: (3:01:50 AM)
i am under AC zone remember ?:P:P

elisha | says: (3:01:55 AM)
later the other AC jealous

elisha | says: (3:01:58 AM)
hahahaha

aaron*c says: (3:02:03 AM)
hahahahaha.

elisha | says: (3:02:04 AM)
the other AC.

aaron*c says: (3:02:07 AM)
i know

elisha | says: (3:02:11 AM)
:'(

aaron*c says: (3:02:15 AM)
he wont la.

elisha | says: (3:02:18 AM)
:-*

elisha | says: (3:02:24 AM)
:-O

elisha | says: (3:02:28 AM)
+o(

elisha | says: (3:02:35 AM)
8-) (sigh)

elisha | says: (3:02:35 AM)
haha

aaron*c says: (3:02:36 AM)
but anw, i think u rebuild yourself. it'll be great.

aaron*c says: (3:02:41 AM)
anw, i'm leaving next year.

elisha | says: (3:02:44 AM)
hah

elisha | says: (3:02:47 AM)
so sad.

aaron*c says: (3:02:48 AM)
when i come back, i'll be under u again.

elisha | says: (3:02:51 AM)
den sebby how.

elisha | says: (3:02:52 AM)
sigh.

elisha | says: (3:02:54 AM)
u come back

elisha | says: (3:02:56 AM)
i fly

aaron*c says: (3:02:57 AM)
he will manage!

elisha | says: (3:03:00 AM)
fly to the sky

elisha | says: (3:03:03 AM)
and the moon

elisha | says: (3:03:08 AM)
can have seb back by then ?

elisha | says: (3:03:11 AM)
:|

aaron*c says: (3:03:24 AM)
dunno when i'll be back anw

elisha | says: (3:03:44 AM)
10 yrs time

elisha | says: (3:03:47 AM)
sigh so sad.

aaron*c says: (3:03:58 AM)
awww. first time u're saying so sad.

aaron*c says: (3:04:01 AM)
so touched.

elisha | says: (3:04:15 AM)
hah

elisha | says: (3:04:17 AM)
ya lor

aaron*c says: (3:04:20 AM)
even last year when u wanted me to say u didnt say u'll be sad.

elisha | says: (3:04:25 AM)
yujie isnt inhuman

aaron*c says: (3:04:27 AM)
i never thought u'd be sad.

elisha | says: (3:04:33 AM)
afterall

elisha | says: (3:04:33 AM)
haha

aaron*c says: (3:04:54 AM)
i need to see this side of yujie more

elisha | says: (3:04:54 AM)
God works in mysterious ways i guess

elisha | says: (3:04:55 AM)
sobs.

aaron*c says: (3:04:56 AM)
hahahaha

elisha | says: (3:05:02 AM)
i wanna go off le

aaron*c says: (3:05:02 AM)
why u suddenly sob??

elisha | says: (3:05:05 AM)
bye

aaron*c says: (3:05:08 AM)
dont cry hor

aaron*c says: (3:05:10 AM)
bye!

aaron*c says: (3:05:11 AM)
:)

elisha | says: (3:05:15 AM)
:S

aaron*c says: (3:05:26 AM)
:d

elisha | says: (3:06:19 AM)
bye

aaron*c says: (3:06:24 AM)
bye boss

hurt

this is worse than the past 2 girls. i feel so hurt. i always knew our friendship was imbalanced - any fool could. but i thought he cared for me. he always hurt me with his words. but this time he really went too far. i cannot believe he said those things about how he doesn't see me as a good friend. he just doesn't care for me. so many years of friendship and he leaves me like this. high and dry. and in the end, i needed to encourage him and tell him it's okay. i feel so so so stupid. so so so so stupid. so anw, just remember aaron, remember, try to keep your distance. keep your distance. sowing into this friendship for so many years has not paid off. so it never will. u treated him like a king. he treats u like dirt. please grow up aaron. please.

please remember

aaron chew, always remember the things u've learnt these past two months.
-if u can see it, u can have it. always believe in yourself.
-you are stronger than u think.
-keep your eyes on the prize. stay focused.
- God is always faithful, always loving.

my research interests

1. the effect of the chinese diaspora on the growth of the world economy (economics)

• there has been a lot of talk about the booming chinese economy and it being a driving factor in the world economy.
• a fact that is often overlooked is that there is a chinatown in practically every city in the world. chinese immigrants typically start off in countries as shopkeepers and restaurant-owners. their children go to school and become professionals, contributing even more to the country's economy. how much has the chinese diaspora brought growth to the world?
• methodology: gather data on chinese contribution to each country's gdp and see how much the chinese punch above their weight. proportion of population vs contribution to gdp.
• no need to look at the whole world. focus on g7 countries (usa, japan, germany, britain, france, italy, canada) plus russia, australia, india, brazil, one or two countries in africa, and asean.
• foreseeable problem: data may be difficult to gather.

2. is singapore's economic policy sustainable? (economics)

• singapore grew because of fdi and free trade.
• it does not have control over monetary policy because it watches the forex.
• appreciation of the forex to keep inflation out, import prices low.
• depreciation of the forex to boost exports when necessary.
• fiscal policy is used to redistribute income (singapore shares, gst credits, growth dividends etc) as well as for pump-priming.
• because of the high savings rate, singapore is able to invest large sums of money (even buying into banks like ubs and merril lynch)
• the question is: is this a viable long-term growth strategy for singapore or must singapore adapt to changing world conditions?

3. is democracy a prerequisite for successful economic management? (economics)

• democracy has often be hailed as an important prerequisite for economic growth. but more often than not, when people say democracy, they mean capitalism.
• can economic freedom and growth coexist with political suppression?
• use examples: singapore, china.
• counter-examples: north korea, cuba.
• to consider: vietnam and russia.

4. the love of god (theology)

• can man really comprehend god's love?
• look into prodigal son. can he understand his father's love for him?
• what is the nature of god's love?
• unconditional love is never mentioned in the bible, nor was ever used by our forefathers like tertullian, martin luther, john wesley. the term unconditional love originated in the hippie's movement in the 1970s.
• god's love is not unconditional. the hebrew word in the old testament and the greek word in the new testament to describe god's love does not mean unconditional. it means lovingkindness or steadfast love in the old testament and self-sacrificing love in the new testament.
• to say it is unconditional is an insult to god. the first condition was met by jesus on the cross of calvary! the second condition is met by us when we repent. if we do not repent, we will not receive god's love. it is freely available, but not unconditional.
• what is the best test for love? when one party commits adultery. as humans, we find it so hard to forgive our offending partner. we can't just move on. one party must absorb the hurt.
• the same with god. the very first commandment tells us to put him first. that's how important it is! but we have committed adultery against god time and again. but yet, unlike us, god can forgive us immediately. why? the hurt must have been absorbed somewhere. and it was absorbed by jesus dying on the cross. the pain of going to the cross on our behalf. the pain of seeing his son die. that is god's love. it is not unconditional.
• look into the hebrew and greek words for love. explore their context and original meaning. look into the words "adultery" and "harlot" in the bible and see how many times it concerns the church against god.

5. l.o.v.e (socio-political-economic)

• previously expounded upon

6. sermon series

• god's love
• god's faithfulness
• spiritual depression (psalms 42) - every christian goes through it.
• daily experience with god