hurt

this is worse than the past 2 girls. i feel so hurt. i always knew our friendship was imbalanced - any fool could. but i thought he cared for me. he always hurt me with his words. but this time he really went too far. i cannot believe he said those things about how he doesn't see me as a good friend. he just doesn't care for me. so many years of friendship and he leaves me like this. high and dry. and in the end, i needed to encourage him and tell him it's okay. i feel so so so stupid. so so so so stupid. so anw, just remember aaron, remember, try to keep your distance. keep your distance. sowing into this friendship for so many years has not paid off. so it never will. u treated him like a king. he treats u like dirt. please grow up aaron. please.

please remember

aaron chew, always remember the things u've learnt these past two months.
-if u can see it, u can have it. always believe in yourself.
-you are stronger than u think.
-keep your eyes on the prize. stay focused.
- God is always faithful, always loving.

my research interests

1. the effect of the chinese diaspora on the growth of the world economy (economics)

• there has been a lot of talk about the booming chinese economy and it being a driving factor in the world economy.
• a fact that is often overlooked is that there is a chinatown in practically every city in the world. chinese immigrants typically start off in countries as shopkeepers and restaurant-owners. their children go to school and become professionals, contributing even more to the country's economy. how much has the chinese diaspora brought growth to the world?
• methodology: gather data on chinese contribution to each country's gdp and see how much the chinese punch above their weight. proportion of population vs contribution to gdp.
• no need to look at the whole world. focus on g7 countries (usa, japan, germany, britain, france, italy, canada) plus russia, australia, india, brazil, one or two countries in africa, and asean.
• foreseeable problem: data may be difficult to gather.

2. is singapore's economic policy sustainable? (economics)

• singapore grew because of fdi and free trade.
• it does not have control over monetary policy because it watches the forex.
• appreciation of the forex to keep inflation out, import prices low.
• depreciation of the forex to boost exports when necessary.
• fiscal policy is used to redistribute income (singapore shares, gst credits, growth dividends etc) as well as for pump-priming.
• because of the high savings rate, singapore is able to invest large sums of money (even buying into banks like ubs and merril lynch)
• the question is: is this a viable long-term growth strategy for singapore or must singapore adapt to changing world conditions?

3. is democracy a prerequisite for successful economic management? (economics)

• democracy has often be hailed as an important prerequisite for economic growth. but more often than not, when people say democracy, they mean capitalism.
• can economic freedom and growth coexist with political suppression?
• use examples: singapore, china.
• counter-examples: north korea, cuba.
• to consider: vietnam and russia.

4. the love of god (theology)

• can man really comprehend god's love?
• look into prodigal son. can he understand his father's love for him?
• what is the nature of god's love?
• unconditional love is never mentioned in the bible, nor was ever used by our forefathers like tertullian, martin luther, john wesley. the term unconditional love originated in the hippie's movement in the 1970s.
• god's love is not unconditional. the hebrew word in the old testament and the greek word in the new testament to describe god's love does not mean unconditional. it means lovingkindness or steadfast love in the old testament and self-sacrificing love in the new testament.
• to say it is unconditional is an insult to god. the first condition was met by jesus on the cross of calvary! the second condition is met by us when we repent. if we do not repent, we will not receive god's love. it is freely available, but not unconditional.
• what is the best test for love? when one party commits adultery. as humans, we find it so hard to forgive our offending partner. we can't just move on. one party must absorb the hurt.
• the same with god. the very first commandment tells us to put him first. that's how important it is! but we have committed adultery against god time and again. but yet, unlike us, god can forgive us immediately. why? the hurt must have been absorbed somewhere. and it was absorbed by jesus dying on the cross. the pain of going to the cross on our behalf. the pain of seeing his son die. that is god's love. it is not unconditional.
• look into the hebrew and greek words for love. explore their context and original meaning. look into the words "adultery" and "harlot" in the bible and see how many times it concerns the church against god.

5. l.o.v.e (socio-political-economic)

• previously expounded upon

6. sermon series

• god's love
• god's faithfulness
• spiritual depression (psalms 42) - every christian goes through it.
• daily experience with god