struggling

i have so many internal struggles within me these days. i'm torn.

studying vs slacking

studying is so hard. so so so hard. i love to learn but i hate mugging for exams. rather than focus on my exams, i'm kboxing, watching desperate housewives, thinking about summer, researching into different things. bleah.

holiday to bali

this means leaving my cell group behind. oh gosh.

and worse, summer school to america

this means leaving my cell group behind for two months. seems like fun. but i feel so much burden for the cell group. it was the same when i was going to leave for london last year. but now it's much worse, i'm a cell leader now. i wasn't back then. arrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh. this is tearing me apart.

relationship

i really don't know if i should break up with her. i really don't know. i really really really don't know.

i'm a terrible person. terrible terrible terrible.